What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 04:40
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Do Republicans give permission to Democrats to vote for any candidate except for Kamala Harris?
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
It was going to be , some day.
What did i know ?
When do you start "growing old"?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I don,t even have a pension.
I have a "fat pussy" and I'm super self cautions about it. Do guys think it's gross?
Im still living with it.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
What is one fantasy you have never told anyone about but really want to do?
I could never make a relationship work though!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Why is there no great temptress figure in any of Tolkien’s major works?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I will be 64.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
How does it feel to be in a marriage without any love?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Put me off passion for life!!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Is homosexuality an excommunicable offense in Christianity?
We all went to grammer schools
She was in good health!
I said to her
Is The Last of Us Part 2 really as woke as people say it is?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
So, i spoilt her more .
What is it like to use a Fleshlight?
Ive learnt so much.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
But, we were locked up after school.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
She loved him until the end.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
When she asked me how she looked .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
This is soul school!.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I was scared of men, in general
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She wouldn,t have been !
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
My family never makes their pension either.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I was very sick at this time too.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Comes on , in middle age.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Why did i forgive my father ?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
My life is so biszare .
I have no regrets .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
All the time i was locked up.
She married twice! .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Who then, do I blame.?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
One cannot live in the past .
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Was to survive, this bastard.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I was 9 years of age.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
(And it was in our own minds.)
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
She found it foreign!.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He knew the spot.
So whats the point in blame.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I think the readers, may guess!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I waited trembling.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And i lived it daily.
I was seconnd youngest,
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But it wasn’t much.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
We were not on the streets..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Would this be the day?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He resisted the act ,that day.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I never cut or harmed myself..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I write beautiful poetry .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years